


Returning a favor

by Aida666



Category: Tiny Meat Gang (Band)
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Bottom Cody Ko, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Hurt/Comfort, Late Night Conversations, Love, M/M, Mental Health Issues, Mental Instability, Panic Attacks, Sleepy Cuddles, Top Noel Miller
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-16
Updated: 2020-04-16
Packaged: 2021-03-01 22:34:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,023
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23674708
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Aida666/pseuds/Aida666
Summary: It's once again one of them moments in which Noel experiences yet another panic attack.Cody funnily enough has only little bit of clue as to what to do.
Relationships: Cody Ko & Noel Miller
Kudos: 16





	Returning a favor

**Author's Note:**

> Hey guys, 
> 
> First of all; 
> 
> *TRIGGER WARNING*  
> THIS PARTICULAR STORY CONTAINS MENTION OF PANIC ATTACKS, MENTAL HEALTH ISSUES AND SUCH. 
> 
> Second of all; 
> 
> I am literally so bored by being at home for so long I might actually go crazy if I think this is good enough to post. However I hope some of y'all will be able to enjoy it anyway.

"Hey, please come to our place, Noel's having an episode again!" 

'An episode', that's what they use to call them nerve-wracking moments when Noel lost control over himself. 

For one reason or another he's always been like this. Ever since Cody remembered, he always used to be so harsh on himself. He was his biggest critique. And sometimes it boiled over the top. It was usually triggered when Noel's perfectionism met the perfectly fine yet 'only' human in him. 

Just like that particular night when Cody picked up the call from Aleena. Her stressed voice was enough to wake him up completely. And so here he was at 3am on his way to Noel's. Mind overflowing with possible scenarios. Last time this happened Cody found Noel miles away from LA. Looking at stars and yelling like a fool. It was a bad one. 

Cody took a quick look in the rear mirror to reassure himself there's no car close behind him to turn the corner. To specify, to turn the corner not so exactly by the rules. But he didn't care at this point. Few more blocks and he's there. At Noel's. 

His mind was going way faster than his car so when he stopped it and literally jumped out the car at first he ran past Aleena. He didn't see her up until she called after him. 

"Oh shit, sorry! Are you okay?" Cody said, and ran back to give her a quick hug. She was shaking as hell.

"Yes, I'm fine, can you talk to him? You know he won't listen to anyone but you now," Aleena asked, "not even me," she added with a sad smile. Cody could tell she's been crying. For quite a time. Her red and swollen eyes could tell it's own story. 

"Sure, where is he?" Cody answered, stroking her arms softly just to try and reassure her everything's gonna be alright.

"I-I don't know, he left shortly after I called you," Aleena caught Cody's frightened look, "but he's calm...compared to other episodes." 

"Okay, I think I know where's he at," Cody just nodded his head firmly. There were three possible places Noel could've head to. And it all depended on the way his episodes played out. Calm meant rooftop. It always meant rooftop. Unlike yelling episodes. They always require highway. Which is quite next level chase compared to rooftop. 

Aleena hugged him shortly and instructed him to call her or text her as soon as he finds Noel. She didn't go with him because she knew better than anyone that these little interventions of Cody's can't be interrupted by someone else. She believed him completely to bring her man back. And Cody was about to do just that. 

*

However prepared he was for the rollercoaster of emotions Noel usually emits during his episodes nothing could prepare him for this. When he stepped out on the rooftop it was calm. Peaceful if you will. No sound of pacing around, no mumbling, nothing. Just silence. 

For a moment his heart stopped beating. He was certain that Noel knew better than this. Yet it was just the effect rooftops of high buildings had on him. 

"Noel!! Where are you?" He called looking around frantically. He turned around multiple times before he spotted Noel at the very top of this roof access. He was lying on what appeared to be a deck chair. 

"How the fuck..," Cody muttered underneath his breath. It took him a second to find a ladder attached to the roof access. At first he only poked his head up there. To observe the situation. From previous experience. Noel had never been violent, yet there were some crazy instances in the past. 

He was just lying there in some sweatpants and black hoodie. He had the hoodie on, covering a part of his face. His arms were folded on his chest. He seemed as if he was just taking a nap. 

"Hey buddy," Cody smiled wide, carefully picking himself up from the ladder and joining his pal on the second deck chair. He didn't even question how he got them up there. Last time they were by the ledge. "So what's going on? Wanna talk about it?" He added after a while of silence. 

Noel just slightly turned his head to Cody's direction. The traces of tears were not even dry yet. He shook his head a bit. Eyes full of utter exhaustion. And who wouldn't be, fighting their own demons each and every minute. 

"Okay, mind if I stay for a bit?" Cody asked, getting comfortable on the chair. He tried his best to be as casual as possible. Because Noel always hated special treatment. He saw it as pity. 

Noel shrugged his shoulders and turned his head back to watch the city before them. He was shaking and he had restless leg. Also Cody could see Noel's fingers nitpicking on his hoodie. However silent he was, it was obvious the battle in him was going on full speed. 

Cody laid there, he was watching Noel from the corner of his eye. He could feel the pain emitting from him. As he just laid on the deck chair, tears slowly rolling down his face. As if he gave up.Cody always hated those quiet episodes of Noel's. Well, quite frankly he didn't like any of his episodes. But when he yelled, talked, punched around at least Cody knew what was going on. Quiet episodes were scary. Quiet meant alone. And Cody didn't want him to deal with whatever shit alone. 

Minutes passed in silence. Maybe even hours, Cody couldn't tell. He only knew it felt like centuries before Noel spoke up, voice raspy, not much louder than a whisper; "I'm going nowhere."

Cody turned his sight to him, Noel was looking at him with those glassy eyes. As if that statement took all his strength with itself. "Nowhere as in..?" He asked quietly. 

"Nowhere in life, I'm stuck. I've been doing the exact same shit for years now and where's the progress?" Noel elaborated and however angry it should've been said it sounded off tired. 

"Noel I… Man, I see your progress and I can tell you are making huge steps in-" 

"Steps to where?" Noel chuckled bitterly. "I've been doing YouTube for so many years and several years down the road you know what I'll do?" 

"YouTube?" 

Noel didn't even bother to say something, he just pointed his index finger at Cody to confirm his words. Then he turned his sight back to the city. He opened his mouth slightly as if he was gasping for air. He even blinked quickly few times. Yet the tears came rolling down his face nonetheless. "Remember Suki?" 

"Sure I do," Cody chuckled, stupid to ask him. After all he's the one who's watched it for total of at least 20 times.

"That should've been my ticket out," Noel whispered, turning his sight to him, "..our ticket out, y'know?" 

"Noel I-" 

"No that was my chance! You know how many plans do I have for us? I love doing YouTube but I want to do film. Like actual movies! I want to take it to the next level!" Noel sat up, legs spread on the deck chair. "And I want to take you with myself! Like obviously we'd still do our podcast and tours but at the same time I'd take you to the set with me and it'd be… oh man, so many plans, fuck.." Noel's head collapsed to his hands. 

Suddenly, something in Cody's brain clicked. As if he got the last piece of the puzzle. It made sense now. "This is about Suki 2, isn't it? What happened?" 

"They postponed it again," Noel mumbled. He kept his head low, and his voice even lower. 

"Oh...oh shit," Cody breathed out. 

"Yeah, oh shit," Noel repeated. He sighed and got up from the deck chair just to stand by the ledge and look at the city. 

"Why tho? I mean I thought everything was set, ready to go, what the fuck happened?" Cody asked. This didn't go over well with him as he knew how much of hard work and man-hours had he put into this project. Just for them to postpone it. Again. 

"Because of that COVID 19 shit, I can't pull together the meeting and crew and all," Noel shrugged his shoulders. He was facing away from Cody, yet he could still see the sadness that emitted from him.

"Oh, that sucks, but it's not your fault! You couldn't predict this would happen," Cody sat up, "can't you guys do an online meeting?" He suggested. 

"Yes, we could do that," Noel turned around dramatically, "oh wait we can't because some asshole lost a full-memo card with third of the new scenes we were about to add!" 

Cody opened his mouth to say something but Noel obviously wasn't done. Not yet. This was one of them moments Noel just wanted him to listen. Not to give advice. Not to relate to him. Not even to suggest a solution. Just listen. 

"And it sucks because when I was kid I really had my life planned out. Like to the detail. I knew what I wanted and I knew what I need to do in order to get that! And yes my views changed a lot and even when my goals changed I still had the vision, y'know? The ultimate goal. And it seems that anytime I get close, so close I can almost feel it in my hand," Noel even gestured his fist closing over something imaginary, "something gets in the way and I'm where I was. At the beginning. Stuck. And I fucking hate being stuck!" Noel rubbed his eyes and sat down at Cody's deck chair. Cody had his legs down by each side of the chair so there was plenty of room. 

Cody didn't know what to do, at first. This was a big episode. Nothing he could fix with basic talk or something. Suddenly it hit him. And before Noel could complain he grabbed him by the arm and literally pulled him into his embrace. 

"What are you doing?" Noel asked with kind of high pitched voice. 

"Returning a favor?" Cody chuckled and hugged him tighter. At first it seemed like Noel was about to break the hug but then he laid his head down on Cody's chest. 

"Thanks," Noel mumbled into Cody's hoodie. 

And so they laid there in each other's embrace. For quite a time. It was low-key sugar gay but neither of them cared. It was their moment. 

Slowly but surely Noel stopped shaking. His breath got back to normal. Even the tears had vanished. Finally, he had calmed down. 

"Okay," he sighed, "I think you can let go off me now, I'm fine," he laughed upon pulling away but Cody's arms stopped him right away. 

"No, stay," Cody mumbled with a sleepy voice as he brought Noel closer to him again.

"You sure? Won't that be too sugar gay for you to handle?" Noel chuckled, resting his head back on Cody's chest. 

"I think I'll manage it," Cody laughed back as he wraped his arms tighter around Noel. 

"Fine by me, I just think-" 

"Shut up, spoons don't talk, remember?" Cody murmured, his fingers doing little circles on Noel's back. He couldn't help but smile with satisfaction over this witty comeback. 

"Oh really?! You gon' pull this one on me?" Noel laughed out loud, sending cute little shivers through his friends body. 

"Well, when you see an opportunity you've got to take it, am I right?" Cody shrugged his shoulders, smiling like an idiot. 

"True," Noel agreed, his eyes closed, but that little smile never leaving his face. This was good. This felt safe. This felt like home. And God knows how long has he been longing for this feeling. No matter how weird it'll be tomorrow morning. Now it felt so natural and familiar that even he himself had to agree on the "shut up" part as he decided to enjoy it while it lasts. 

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


**Author's Note:**

> Here we go with the rest, haha.
> 
> Third of all; 
> 
> For those of you still patiently waiting for the next chapter of 'Drifting apart', I'm working on it. Like really, I do. But it's not coming together as smoothly as I'd expect. Don't u worry I'll update it, eventually. I'll do my best to pull it together asap but I can't promise y'all a thing. So please be patient with me. 
> 
> Fourth of all; 
> 
> I really do hope y'all are safe and this whole COVID 19 quarantine thingy hasn't sucked the life out of you yet. 
> 
> Ok, that's all.
> 
> Thanks for the visit! :)


End file.
